1 00:00:03,771 --> 00:00:06,174 Cheers is filmed before A live studio audience. 2 00:00:08,309 --> 00:00:11,345 It's been a pleasure Serving you. 3 00:00:11,412 --> 00:00:12,646 Thanks. 4 00:00:12,713 --> 00:00:14,148 Wait a minute. 5 00:00:14,215 --> 00:00:15,649 Is this for me? 6 00:00:15,716 --> 00:00:16,650 Yes. 7 00:00:16,717 --> 00:00:17,718 Whoa-ho! A quarter! 8 00:00:17,785 --> 00:00:19,787 He left me A whole quarter. 9 00:00:19,853 --> 00:00:22,156 Considering All that great service I gave him, 10 00:00:22,223 --> 00:00:24,158 I was expecting A big tip, 11 00:00:24,225 --> 00:00:26,360 But nothing Of this magnitude. 12 00:00:26,427 --> 00:00:29,230 That does it. Thanks to him, I'm on easy street. 13 00:00:29,297 --> 00:00:30,731 Now I'm gonna retire. 14 00:00:30,798 --> 00:00:33,101 Hey, look, all right, I'll give you some more, ok? 15 00:00:33,167 --> 00:00:35,236 Here. You have change Of a 10? 16 00:00:35,303 --> 00:00:38,306 Yeah. Now beat it. 17 00:00:44,578 --> 00:00:47,115 * making your way In the world today * 18 00:00:47,181 --> 00:00:50,084 * takes everything You've got * 19 00:00:50,151 --> 00:00:52,920 * taking a break From all your worries * 20 00:00:52,986 --> 00:00:56,224 * sure would help a lot * 21 00:00:56,290 --> 00:00:59,460 * wouldn't you Like to get away? * 22 00:01:02,196 --> 00:01:04,232 * sometimes You wanna go * 23 00:01:04,298 --> 00:01:07,668 * where everybody Knows your name * 24 00:01:09,437 --> 00:01:12,773 * and they're always Glad you came * 25 00:01:14,175 --> 00:01:16,477 * you wanna be Where you can see * 26 00:01:16,544 --> 00:01:19,213 * our troubles Are all the same * 27 00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:24,418 * you wanna be where Everybody knows your name * 28 00:01:24,485 --> 00:01:29,490 * you wanna go where people know People are all the same * 29 00:01:29,557 --> 00:01:34,328 * you wanna go where everybody Knows your name * 30 00:01:53,681 --> 00:01:55,249 All right, everybody, I'm warning you, 31 00:01:55,316 --> 00:01:57,251 Better stay On my good side today. 32 00:01:57,318 --> 00:02:00,188 Cliff, I've looked at you From every angle. 33 00:02:00,254 --> 00:02:02,423 There is no good side. 34 00:02:02,490 --> 00:02:04,425 What's the problem There, cliffy? 35 00:02:04,492 --> 00:02:08,429 Ah, new couple moved in Next door to me and ma. 36 00:02:08,496 --> 00:02:10,431 Just not our kind Of people. 37 00:02:10,498 --> 00:02:12,166 They're loud, They're noisy. 38 00:02:12,233 --> 00:02:15,068 They're up till all hours Playing their bebop music. 39 00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:17,638 Automobile parts Strewn all over the yard-- 40 00:02:17,705 --> 00:02:19,440 Nothing I can use. 41 00:02:19,507 --> 00:02:21,108 Why don't you just have A word with these People, cliffy. 42 00:02:21,175 --> 00:02:23,377 No. They're Not the type of people You just have a word with. 43 00:02:23,444 --> 00:02:24,945 You know what I mean? 44 00:02:25,012 --> 00:02:27,448 If I talk to them, It's only gonna lead to a fight. 45 00:02:27,515 --> 00:02:30,150 You know What I'm liable to do. 46 00:02:30,218 --> 00:02:31,719 Yeah, wet yourself. 47 00:02:36,524 --> 00:02:38,025 Oh, my god. That's my boss. 48 00:02:38,091 --> 00:02:41,195 He saw me slip out Early. He's come here To fire me. 49 00:02:41,262 --> 00:02:43,597 You got here The same time you always do. 50 00:02:43,664 --> 00:02:47,568 I know. I always leave early. 51 00:02:47,635 --> 00:02:50,471 I refuse to be one of Those little cowardly Clock-watchers. 52 00:02:50,538 --> 00:02:53,006 As soon as my supervisor Turns his head, 53 00:02:53,073 --> 00:02:57,010 I always slip out The heating duct. 54 00:02:57,077 --> 00:02:59,480 How would he know You're here? 55 00:02:59,547 --> 00:03:00,681 Company's Full of spies. 56 00:03:00,748 --> 00:03:02,250 Really? 57 00:03:02,316 --> 00:03:03,784 Yeah. They know everything About you. 58 00:03:03,851 --> 00:03:06,420 They even keep track Of your sex habits. 59 00:03:06,487 --> 00:03:09,323 Thank god I don't have any. 60 00:03:10,958 --> 00:03:13,927 He's coming this way. Cliffy, cover for me. Yeah, roger. 61 00:03:13,994 --> 00:03:16,497 Wait a minute. Ah, ah-- 62 00:03:16,564 --> 00:03:19,099 Excuse me. Wasn't that Norm peterson? 63 00:03:19,166 --> 00:03:20,901 Nope, there's no Norm peterson here. 64 00:03:20,968 --> 00:03:23,103 As a matter of fact, I don't even know A norm peterson. 65 00:03:23,170 --> 00:03:25,506 Are you sure? The man that just ran Into the men's room 66 00:03:25,573 --> 00:03:27,508 With his jacket Pulled over his head? 67 00:03:27,575 --> 00:03:29,510 Absolutely not. Probably just somebody 68 00:03:29,577 --> 00:03:31,445 That looked like Norm peterson. 69 00:03:31,512 --> 00:03:33,647 Who I don't know. 70 00:03:33,714 --> 00:03:35,383 I see. Uh-huh. 71 00:03:35,449 --> 00:03:39,720 And, uh, what's This on the floor? 72 00:03:41,422 --> 00:03:44,725 Foam insulation From our heating duct. 73 00:03:45,593 --> 00:03:47,728 My information Is correct. 74 00:03:54,602 --> 00:03:56,570 Peterson, You in here? 75 00:04:03,611 --> 00:04:06,079 Were you Talking to me? 76 00:04:06,146 --> 00:04:07,548 What are you doing In there? 77 00:04:07,615 --> 00:04:09,317 Sir, this is awfully close 78 00:04:09,383 --> 00:04:11,118 To being invasion Of privacy, darn it. 79 00:04:11,184 --> 00:04:12,786 I want To talk to you. 80 00:04:12,853 --> 00:04:14,855 I'll wait outside. 81 00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:16,657 No, no, no. No, sir, 82 00:04:16,724 --> 00:04:20,361 I know what You're probably Going to do to me, 83 00:04:20,428 --> 00:04:21,662 And this does seem 84 00:04:21,729 --> 00:04:24,332 Like the appropriate Place for it. 85 00:04:24,398 --> 00:04:25,666 All right. Peterson... 86 00:04:25,733 --> 00:04:27,701 We've made some Organizational changes 87 00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:28,869 In the company. 88 00:04:28,936 --> 00:04:30,203 Starting tomorrow, 89 00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:33,641 We want you to be Our corporate killer. 90 00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:36,444 Guy who fires people? 91 00:04:36,510 --> 00:04:37,445 That's right. 92 00:04:37,511 --> 00:04:39,046 You see, we decided 93 00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:40,448 That terminating Employees 94 00:04:40,514 --> 00:04:43,584 Puts too much stress On our executives. 95 00:04:43,651 --> 00:04:45,786 We think You'll be perfect. 96 00:04:45,853 --> 00:04:47,020 Why me? 97 00:04:47,087 --> 00:04:48,456 Because studies Have shown that 98 00:04:48,522 --> 00:04:49,757 It's particularly Humiliating 99 00:04:49,823 --> 00:04:51,759 When you're Fired by somebody 100 00:04:51,825 --> 00:04:54,762 Who's clearly and markedly Superior to yourself. 101 00:04:54,828 --> 00:04:58,499 That just wouldn't be The case with you, norman. 102 00:04:58,566 --> 00:05:03,236 See, you're just An ordinary joe. 103 00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:05,339 As a matter of fact, 104 00:05:05,406 --> 00:05:08,342 We, uh... We checked out Your home life. 105 00:05:08,409 --> 00:05:09,643 You have Absolutely nothing 106 00:05:09,710 --> 00:05:12,480 Anyone could possibly Envy or resent. 107 00:05:12,546 --> 00:05:13,981 I'm honored, sir. 108 00:05:14,047 --> 00:05:17,918 But it just sounds Like a horrible job, Frankly. 109 00:05:17,985 --> 00:05:19,420 It's a 300% raise, 110 00:05:19,487 --> 00:05:21,589 And if you don't take it, You're fired. 111 00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:24,324 Sir, I will Have you know 112 00:05:24,392 --> 00:05:26,326 That I cannot Be bought, 113 00:05:26,394 --> 00:05:28,328 And I cannot Be threatened. 114 00:05:28,396 --> 00:05:30,831 But you put The two together, 115 00:05:30,898 --> 00:05:32,700 And I'm your man. 116 00:05:35,869 --> 00:05:38,238 Carla, have you Given any thought 117 00:05:38,305 --> 00:05:40,140 To using some form 118 00:05:40,207 --> 00:05:42,309 Of natural childbirth This time? 119 00:05:42,376 --> 00:05:44,812 I always use The le mans method. 120 00:05:44,878 --> 00:05:46,847 No, you mean lamaze. 121 00:05:46,914 --> 00:05:48,015 No, le mans. 122 00:05:48,081 --> 00:05:50,384 I scream Like a ferrari. 123 00:05:53,487 --> 00:05:55,255 Evening, everybody. 124 00:05:55,322 --> 00:05:57,525 Hi-yo! Ho! Ho! 125 00:05:57,591 --> 00:05:59,059 What will you Have, norm? 126 00:05:59,126 --> 00:06:00,528 I'm in a gambling mood, sammy. I'll take a glass 127 00:06:00,594 --> 00:06:03,363 Of whatever comes out Of that tap. 128 00:06:03,431 --> 00:06:04,698 Oh, looks like beer, norm. 129 00:06:04,765 --> 00:06:06,700 Call me Mr. Lucky, eh? 130 00:06:06,767 --> 00:06:08,368 I'll take Another one 131 00:06:08,436 --> 00:06:10,170 For my young Friend there. 132 00:06:10,237 --> 00:06:12,806 So, mr. Lucky, Who is your young Friend over there? 133 00:06:12,873 --> 00:06:15,008 Well, it's my first Assignment, cliffy. 134 00:06:15,075 --> 00:06:17,911 I was supposed to fire That guy first thing in The morning. 135 00:06:17,978 --> 00:06:19,813 I haven't been able To do it yet. 136 00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:22,650 You mean you've been With the guy all day, 137 00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:24,518 And you haven't Canned him? 138 00:06:24,585 --> 00:06:25,986 Such a sweet Young kid. 139 00:06:26,053 --> 00:06:29,156 I just can't Tear his heart out. 140 00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:31,725 Oh, can I do it, Please? 141 00:06:31,792 --> 00:06:33,260 Do you mind? 142 00:06:33,326 --> 00:06:35,529 I know what You're talking about. 143 00:06:35,596 --> 00:06:37,998 It's always hard To fire people. 144 00:06:38,065 --> 00:06:39,533 Of course, I always Give my waitresses 145 00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:42,402 The benefit Of a severance boink. 146 00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:46,874 That, or the money Equivalent-- 147 00:06:46,940 --> 00:06:48,542 $1.14. 148 00:06:48,609 --> 00:06:52,880 As I recall, you were Always after an advance. 149 00:06:54,181 --> 00:06:57,751 Oh, sam, you're always Bringing that up, 150 00:06:57,818 --> 00:07:01,354 Trying to relive those Few precious weeks 151 00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:05,125 With the only woman You ever dated who knew how To spell your name. 152 00:07:07,628 --> 00:07:09,763 As I recall, You used to spell it 153 00:07:09,830 --> 00:07:11,765 E-x-t-a-s-y. 154 00:07:15,503 --> 00:07:17,638 You got the "X" right. 155 00:07:17,705 --> 00:07:19,607 And it's going To stay that way. 156 00:07:19,673 --> 00:07:22,576 Would you two mind if We moved on to something A little more interesting 157 00:07:22,643 --> 00:07:25,579 Than your star-crossed Romance, please? Sorry. 158 00:07:25,646 --> 00:07:27,114 Come on, Norm, what could be More interesting 159 00:07:27,180 --> 00:07:29,049 Than another Gripping episode 160 00:07:29,116 --> 00:07:32,686 Of young and The chestless? 161 00:07:37,658 --> 00:07:39,092 I'm sorry. Where-- Oh, yeah. 162 00:07:39,159 --> 00:07:41,128 So, when are you Going to talk to the guy? 163 00:07:41,194 --> 00:07:43,531 I don't know. I've Been struggling With it all day. 164 00:07:43,597 --> 00:07:45,666 I was gonna tell him At lunch, you know, 165 00:07:45,733 --> 00:07:47,434 But we were enjoying Ourselves so much, 166 00:07:47,501 --> 00:07:48,769 It just seemed Gauche. 167 00:07:48,836 --> 00:07:51,104 So I thought I'd Take him to a movie, 168 00:07:51,171 --> 00:07:53,140 You know, and try to Get him relaxed a bit. 169 00:07:53,206 --> 00:07:55,208 And you couldn't Tell him there either? 170 00:07:55,275 --> 00:07:59,680 No, but I came Awfully close At the ball game. 171 00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:02,716 Norman, as you know, 172 00:08:02,783 --> 00:08:05,719 No one is more Sensitive than I. 173 00:08:05,786 --> 00:08:07,721 And I say Putting it off 174 00:08:07,788 --> 00:08:11,458 Is of no value To you or the boy. 175 00:08:11,525 --> 00:08:14,227 I guess You're right. 176 00:08:19,533 --> 00:08:20,768 Thanks for the beer, Mr. Peterson. Sure. 177 00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:22,603 I sure have had A good time today. 178 00:08:22,670 --> 00:08:24,705 You sure we won't get Into any trouble? 179 00:08:24,772 --> 00:08:27,808 No. Besides, it's great To get away from that Old sweatshop anyway, isn't it? 180 00:08:27,875 --> 00:08:29,543 Are you kidding? I love my job. 181 00:08:29,610 --> 00:08:32,680 My five months I've Had it have been The best of my life. 182 00:08:35,082 --> 00:08:37,317 Isn't that exaggerating Just a little bit, billy? 183 00:08:37,384 --> 00:08:40,387 No. Mr. Peterson, Ever since I could remember, 184 00:08:40,453 --> 00:08:42,623 I dreamed of being An accountant. 185 00:08:42,690 --> 00:08:46,727 From the age of 6, I did Odd jobs so I could put Myself through college. 186 00:08:46,794 --> 00:08:48,729 Now that I have it, 187 00:08:48,796 --> 00:08:51,632 I feel like I've got The world at my feet. 188 00:08:51,699 --> 00:08:54,301 I just put a down Payment on a house. 189 00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:57,504 Maybe it was a little More than we wanted To spend, 190 00:08:57,571 --> 00:08:58,839 But escrow Closed today. 191 00:08:58,906 --> 00:09:00,841 So there's No turning back now. 192 00:09:00,908 --> 00:09:03,343 Besides, with My wife pregnant, 193 00:09:03,410 --> 00:09:05,045 We're going To need the room. 194 00:09:05,112 --> 00:09:07,214 Your--your... 195 00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:08,515 You know, My wife and I 196 00:09:08,582 --> 00:09:11,652 Are trying to have A baby, actually. 197 00:09:11,719 --> 00:09:13,253 Hey, that's great. 198 00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:16,356 Our kids are gonna Play together at The company picnic. 199 00:09:16,423 --> 00:09:19,993 I don't think so, billy. 200 00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:21,528 Why not? 201 00:09:21,595 --> 00:09:23,697 'cause you're fired. 202 00:09:24,598 --> 00:09:26,299 I'm fired? 203 00:09:26,366 --> 00:09:27,801 Yes. 204 00:09:27,868 --> 00:09:29,536 It's not your fault You're history, billy. 205 00:09:29,603 --> 00:09:31,939 It's the damn company. 206 00:09:32,005 --> 00:09:34,908 They're cutting back All over the place. 207 00:09:34,975 --> 00:09:39,713 You're a good accountant. I'm so sorry. 208 00:09:39,780 --> 00:09:41,214 I can't believe it. 209 00:09:42,616 --> 00:09:45,585 It's not fair. You're so damn young. 210 00:09:45,653 --> 00:09:47,955 That's right. I am young. 211 00:09:48,021 --> 00:09:49,556 I've got that Going for me. 212 00:09:49,623 --> 00:09:50,958 I'll start over. 213 00:09:51,024 --> 00:09:52,292 I'll find Something else. 214 00:09:52,359 --> 00:09:55,595 In this job market? Good luck. 215 00:09:56,964 --> 00:09:58,565 Shh, there, there, Mr. Peterson. 216 00:09:58,632 --> 00:10:00,567 Don't you Worry about me. 217 00:10:00,634 --> 00:10:02,002 I'll be just fine. 218 00:10:02,069 --> 00:10:05,072 I'm going to make you Happy and proud again. 219 00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:08,776 Are you going To be ok? 220 00:10:09,910 --> 00:10:13,046 Come on, show me A big smile. 221 00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:15,215 Come on. Come on. 222 00:10:18,018 --> 00:10:19,252 Attaboy. 223 00:10:23,791 --> 00:10:25,425 Stand up. Come on. 224 00:10:25,492 --> 00:10:27,928 Get him a beer There, diane. 225 00:10:27,995 --> 00:10:29,096 Come on. 226 00:10:31,799 --> 00:10:33,934 So how did it go, Norm? 227 00:10:34,001 --> 00:10:35,268 Carla. 228 00:10:35,335 --> 00:10:36,603 That damn company. 229 00:10:36,670 --> 00:10:38,038 What do they know 230 00:10:38,105 --> 00:10:42,442 About the pride In a young wife's eye, 231 00:10:42,509 --> 00:10:44,611 An unborn child, 232 00:10:44,678 --> 00:10:47,614 Or a boy's love Of a calculator? 233 00:10:47,681 --> 00:10:49,783 Norman, stop. 234 00:10:49,850 --> 00:10:51,618 You're torturing Yourself. 235 00:10:51,685 --> 00:10:53,153 And us. 236 00:10:57,590 --> 00:10:59,659 I guess billy richter's 237 00:10:59,727 --> 00:11:02,730 Not going to be The only one without a job. 238 00:11:02,796 --> 00:11:05,032 I'm not cut out to be A corporate killer. 239 00:11:05,098 --> 00:11:07,067 Well, Thank goodness For that. 240 00:11:07,134 --> 00:11:08,201 Excuse me. 241 00:11:08,268 --> 00:11:10,503 I watched you with That young man over there. 242 00:11:10,570 --> 00:11:13,440 And I want to tell you That I've never seen Anything like that. 243 00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:14,875 Hey, pal, look, This is the 1980s. 244 00:11:14,942 --> 00:11:17,677 It's ok For a man to cry. 245 00:11:17,745 --> 00:11:19,012 Thanks, buddy. 246 00:11:19,079 --> 00:11:22,315 Of course, you'd never Catch me doing it. 247 00:11:22,382 --> 00:11:24,651 Maybe a manly Tear or two, 248 00:11:24,718 --> 00:11:26,854 But never blubbering. 249 00:11:30,557 --> 00:11:31,792 I'm phil wagner. 250 00:11:31,859 --> 00:11:33,794 It's a policy At talbot international 251 00:11:33,861 --> 00:11:35,796 To send A representative to check 252 00:11:35,863 --> 00:11:38,631 On how their employees Handle new assignments. 253 00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:41,401 I been following you Around all day. 254 00:11:41,468 --> 00:11:42,569 All day? 255 00:11:42,635 --> 00:11:44,371 That's right. Oh, by the way, 256 00:11:44,437 --> 00:11:46,807 How'd you like rice's catch In the third inning? 257 00:11:46,874 --> 00:11:49,442 It was a great catch. 258 00:11:49,509 --> 00:11:52,545 Look, sir, I guess you're Going to tell them 259 00:11:52,612 --> 00:11:53,881 To find Another killer. 260 00:11:53,947 --> 00:11:55,816 I have to say, I'm relieved, actually. 261 00:11:55,883 --> 00:11:59,452 Peterson, you made That man feel 262 00:11:59,519 --> 00:12:00,754 That he was fired 263 00:12:00,821 --> 00:12:02,756 From a sensitive, Caring company. 264 00:12:02,823 --> 00:12:04,257 It was brilliant. 265 00:12:04,324 --> 00:12:05,959 I'm gonna recommend That they give you 266 00:12:06,026 --> 00:12:07,460 That corner office On the third floor 267 00:12:07,527 --> 00:12:08,829 Overlooking The parking lot. 268 00:12:08,896 --> 00:12:11,164 Isn't that Mr. Peabody's office? 269 00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:13,466 Not after you Talk with him tomorrow. 270 00:12:28,515 --> 00:12:29,983 That's it! I've had it. I've had it. 271 00:12:30,050 --> 00:12:32,585 Those neighbors have Pushed me too far this time. 272 00:12:32,652 --> 00:12:34,321 What happened now, Clifford? 273 00:12:34,387 --> 00:12:36,790 Last night, they decided To have a party-- 274 00:12:36,857 --> 00:12:38,291 Cars parked all over The block, 275 00:12:38,358 --> 00:12:40,727 Loud music, carousing, And who all knows what else 276 00:12:40,794 --> 00:12:43,196 All this On a school night. 277 00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:44,697 You know, I think It's high time they learned 278 00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:47,500 What you get When you cross a clavin. 279 00:12:47,567 --> 00:12:51,538 Someone crossed one with A chicken and got you. 280 00:12:51,604 --> 00:12:53,673 I beg your pardon. 281 00:12:53,740 --> 00:12:55,175 You come in here Shooting your mouth off 282 00:12:55,242 --> 00:12:56,676 About this guy Every night, 283 00:12:56,743 --> 00:12:58,578 But you don't Do anything. 284 00:12:58,645 --> 00:13:01,548 I think You're afraid To stand up to him. 285 00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:02,850 I'm not afraid of anything. 286 00:13:02,916 --> 00:13:04,651 One of these days, I'm gonna tell that jerk 287 00:13:04,717 --> 00:13:06,353 Exactly what I think Of him. 288 00:13:06,419 --> 00:13:07,554 Oh, yeah? 289 00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:09,089 All right. 290 00:13:09,957 --> 00:13:11,558 Here you go. 291 00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:14,127 Write him a letter. 292 00:13:14,194 --> 00:13:16,696 Oh, yeah. You don't Think I will, huh? 293 00:13:16,763 --> 00:13:18,331 All right... 294 00:13:18,398 --> 00:13:21,234 "Howdy, neighbor. Please don't Take this the wrong way--" 295 00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:22,569 Give me that! 296 00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:24,604 "Howdy, neighbor." 297 00:13:24,671 --> 00:13:26,406 Let me do this. 298 00:13:29,542 --> 00:13:33,380 "Dear vile Scurvy rat... 299 00:13:33,446 --> 00:13:37,384 Whose existence Stinks up the planet..." 300 00:13:37,450 --> 00:13:40,320 Yeah, I guess that Is a bit stronger. 301 00:13:40,387 --> 00:13:42,789 Where's, uh... Where's norm? 302 00:13:42,856 --> 00:13:44,724 He's in the back room 303 00:13:44,791 --> 00:13:48,361 Dropping the ax On his latest victim. 304 00:13:53,867 --> 00:13:56,136 It'll be all right. 305 00:13:56,203 --> 00:13:58,605 I'll find another job... 306 00:13:58,671 --> 00:14:00,507 Someday. 307 00:14:00,573 --> 00:14:02,509 You promise? 308 00:14:02,575 --> 00:14:04,311 Huh? Huh? 309 00:14:04,377 --> 00:14:05,678 I promise. 310 00:14:05,745 --> 00:14:07,881 Now buck up. 311 00:14:14,554 --> 00:14:17,024 That man is a prince. 312 00:14:17,090 --> 00:14:19,559 Norman...Why do you keep 313 00:14:19,626 --> 00:14:21,194 Putting yourself Through this? 314 00:14:21,261 --> 00:14:23,130 You must be Emotionally drained 315 00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:25,632 At the end of the day. 316 00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:27,034 Yeah. Yeah, I am, 317 00:14:27,100 --> 00:14:30,037 But, uh...Hey, I'm good at it, huh? 318 00:14:30,103 --> 00:14:33,106 Finally found something In life I'm good at-- 319 00:14:33,173 --> 00:14:34,574 Pity. 320 00:14:37,310 --> 00:14:40,547 Now we just got To finish it off With a real doozy. 321 00:14:40,613 --> 00:14:43,650 Does he have Any disabilities You can make fun of? 322 00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:45,118 No. 323 00:14:45,185 --> 00:14:47,654 Well, his wife's not A particularly handsome woman. 324 00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:49,856 Oh, good. Good. 325 00:14:49,923 --> 00:14:53,326 "Bark hello to Your wife for me." 326 00:14:54,827 --> 00:14:58,265 "Yours in disgust..." 327 00:14:58,331 --> 00:14:59,199 Sign that. 328 00:14:59,266 --> 00:15:02,135 Ok, I'll sign it With pleasure. 329 00:15:02,202 --> 00:15:04,904 I'll mail this at My earliest convenience. 330 00:15:04,972 --> 00:15:06,139 Fork it over. 331 00:15:06,206 --> 00:15:08,675 It's going out In today's mail. 332 00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:10,978 Good. Good. Glad to hear it. 333 00:15:11,044 --> 00:15:13,413 Look, clavin-- Just think of this 334 00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:16,649 As your ticket Out of weenie town. 335 00:15:17,817 --> 00:15:20,487 Carla, I made That trip long ago. 336 00:15:20,553 --> 00:15:23,656 Yeah, but they threw you Out at dinkville. 337 00:15:25,158 --> 00:15:26,659 Uh...I'm sor--norm. 338 00:15:26,726 --> 00:15:27,995 Your office called. 339 00:15:28,061 --> 00:15:30,197 They're sending over A john parker. 340 00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:31,698 Another one. Yeah. 341 00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:32,699 Jeez! 342 00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:34,601 Last one today, I guess. 343 00:15:34,667 --> 00:15:36,803 Let's see what we got here. 344 00:15:36,869 --> 00:15:38,705 John parker. 345 00:15:40,340 --> 00:15:43,876 Hmm...35 years At the company, sam. 346 00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:45,212 He's a widower. 347 00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:47,714 He supports sickly parents. 348 00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:51,384 Oh, no. Three foster children. 349 00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:54,487 So sad, sam. So... 350 00:15:54,554 --> 00:15:55,722 Afternoon, sam. 351 00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:58,025 And how are we today? 352 00:15:58,091 --> 00:16:00,293 We're fine, walt. How are you doing? 353 00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:02,462 Well, it hasn't been An easy day, 354 00:16:02,529 --> 00:16:05,332 But any day I carry the u.S. Mail, 355 00:16:05,398 --> 00:16:09,269 I count myself a lucky And useful human being. 356 00:16:10,137 --> 00:16:13,040 Are all you guys Like this? 357 00:16:13,106 --> 00:16:14,774 Like what? 358 00:16:14,841 --> 00:16:16,309 Never mind. 359 00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:19,546 Hold on A second, walt. 360 00:16:19,612 --> 00:16:21,814 I've got some Outgoing mail here. Sure thing. 361 00:16:21,881 --> 00:16:23,750 How do you like that? 362 00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:25,385 Just talked to mom. 363 00:16:25,452 --> 00:16:27,587 Our neighbor's cleaning Up his yard right As we speak. 364 00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:30,323 He said He would have gotten To it sooner, 365 00:16:30,390 --> 00:16:31,858 But he's been In training 366 00:16:31,924 --> 00:16:33,526 For the world Light-heavyweight Kickboxing championship. 367 00:16:33,593 --> 00:16:35,895 Yeah, he would have made A worthy adversary For me, 368 00:16:35,962 --> 00:16:38,065 But it's good I found out 369 00:16:38,131 --> 00:16:39,699 Before that letter Was mailed. 370 00:16:39,766 --> 00:16:42,869 That's excellent use of The nine-digit zip code, sam. 371 00:16:42,935 --> 00:16:46,773 Consider these letters In the hands of the addressees. 372 00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:48,575 Hey, uh... Ho-ho-ho! 373 00:16:48,641 --> 00:16:51,611 Hold on there, uh... Twitchell, isn't it? 374 00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:52,779 That's right. 375 00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:55,615 Clavin, south central Branch, scb. 376 00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:58,085 Oh...Right. 377 00:16:58,151 --> 00:16:59,786 Uh...Listen, twitch. 378 00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:01,521 You got a letter In that bag 379 00:17:01,588 --> 00:17:03,523 That I don't need To have mailed, 380 00:17:03,590 --> 00:17:05,625 So I'd appreciated it if I could have it back. 381 00:17:05,692 --> 00:17:06,793 Sorry. 382 00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:10,630 What do you mean, "Sorry"? 383 00:17:10,697 --> 00:17:12,365 I can't give it back. 384 00:17:12,432 --> 00:17:15,402 "Any letter on my person For the express purpose Of delivery 385 00:17:15,468 --> 00:17:17,104 "Receives the same sanctity 386 00:17:17,170 --> 00:17:19,172 It would be afforded In any u.S. Mail receptacle." 387 00:17:19,239 --> 00:17:20,573 Yeah, yeah, But look, this is 388 00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:22,575 A very personal, Important matter to me. 389 00:17:22,642 --> 00:17:23,910 You know the rules. 390 00:17:23,976 --> 00:17:25,545 Hey! That's my bag! 391 00:17:25,612 --> 00:17:26,779 Get your hands off! 392 00:17:26,846 --> 00:17:28,248 That's a federal offense! 393 00:17:28,315 --> 00:17:30,750 You're a federal Offense, you meathead! 394 00:17:32,519 --> 00:17:33,586 Hey! 395 00:17:33,653 --> 00:17:34,621 Hey! 396 00:17:34,687 --> 00:17:36,723 Get out of here! 397 00:17:36,789 --> 00:17:39,926 That's clavin. Clavin, with a "C," right? 398 00:17:39,992 --> 00:17:41,394 That's right. 399 00:17:41,461 --> 00:17:43,763 Yeah, well, Let me tell you, You're in trouble. 400 00:17:43,830 --> 00:17:45,132 You're in trouble! 401 00:17:45,198 --> 00:17:47,134 They're going to have Your bags. 402 00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:49,169 Your mother's a bag. 403 00:17:51,037 --> 00:17:52,305 Isn't that something? 404 00:17:52,372 --> 00:17:54,541 Put a uniform On some guys, 405 00:17:54,607 --> 00:17:56,609 It turns them Right into a fascist. 406 00:17:56,676 --> 00:17:58,278 I wouldn't be A bit surprised 407 00:17:58,345 --> 00:18:01,614 If that guy had Deep sexual p-problems. 408 00:18:03,216 --> 00:18:05,752 [snoring] 409 00:18:08,688 --> 00:18:09,956 Huh. 410 00:18:10,022 --> 00:18:12,425 Norm is sleeping Like a baby. 411 00:18:12,492 --> 00:18:15,695 Yeah. A baby with A license to kill. 412 00:18:17,063 --> 00:18:19,432 I guess this job is Taking its toll. 413 00:18:19,499 --> 00:18:22,169 I wonder what He's dreaming about? 414 00:18:22,235 --> 00:18:23,436 Oh, he's probably Dreaming about 415 00:18:23,503 --> 00:18:25,438 What every man Dreams about. 416 00:18:25,505 --> 00:18:28,775 In your case, That would be me. 417 00:18:28,841 --> 00:18:32,645 I hardly think that norm's Dreaming about you. 418 00:18:32,712 --> 00:18:35,315 Aah! 419 00:18:36,183 --> 00:18:38,218 I stand corrected. 420 00:18:39,519 --> 00:18:43,022 Hey! Are you ok? Wake up. 421 00:18:43,089 --> 00:18:45,658 N-n-no, I'm, uh... I'm fine. 422 00:18:45,725 --> 00:18:46,526 Whew! 423 00:18:46,593 --> 00:18:48,361 Strangest dream. What was that? 424 00:18:48,428 --> 00:18:50,163 It was so weird, sam. 425 00:18:50,230 --> 00:18:53,466 It's really dark, You know, and cold, 426 00:18:53,533 --> 00:18:57,470 And eerie, and it's out In the middle of nowhere, You know? 427 00:18:57,537 --> 00:19:00,573 I mean, it was nowhere, but It was definitely somewhere. 428 00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:04,110 There was this endless line Of accountants there, right? 429 00:19:04,177 --> 00:19:07,447 It was my job To make them go through 430 00:19:07,514 --> 00:19:09,549 A pair of elevator doors. 431 00:19:09,616 --> 00:19:10,683 Aah! 432 00:19:10,750 --> 00:19:12,319 Going down? 433 00:19:14,754 --> 00:19:16,689 Aah! 434 00:19:19,859 --> 00:19:21,794 Aah! 435 00:19:24,764 --> 00:19:27,534 Aah! 436 00:19:28,401 --> 00:19:30,770 One by one They went, sammy, 437 00:19:30,837 --> 00:19:34,374 Falling, screaming Into a bottomless pit. 438 00:19:35,608 --> 00:19:37,009 Aah! 439 00:19:37,076 --> 00:19:39,346 Ha ha ha! 440 00:19:40,513 --> 00:19:44,016 I turned around, and There was this accountant 441 00:19:44,083 --> 00:19:45,352 Just wearing a blindfold, Right? 442 00:19:45,418 --> 00:19:47,820 I went up to him. 443 00:19:54,894 --> 00:19:56,729 Aah! 444 00:19:56,796 --> 00:19:58,665 Aah! 445 00:19:58,731 --> 00:19:59,766 Aah! 446 00:19:59,832 --> 00:20:00,933 Aah! 447 00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:02,101 Norm! 448 00:20:02,168 --> 00:20:03,270 Just demonstrating. 449 00:20:03,336 --> 00:20:04,737 I was fine. 450 00:20:04,804 --> 00:20:09,041 Norman...Don't you see What this dream means? 451 00:20:09,108 --> 00:20:11,478 A very precious Part of you 452 00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:14,914 Feels as if it's being Destroyed by this job. 453 00:20:14,981 --> 00:20:16,849 The burden of your guilt 454 00:20:16,916 --> 00:20:18,818 Is...Insupportable. 455 00:20:18,885 --> 00:20:21,921 I never said I was in love With this job, ok? 456 00:20:21,988 --> 00:20:24,757 As a matter of fact, I think it stinks, All right? 457 00:20:24,824 --> 00:20:26,559 But it is important. 458 00:20:26,626 --> 00:20:28,461 These guys'd All be fired, anyway. 459 00:20:28,528 --> 00:20:31,364 And I'm just providing A service, ok? 460 00:20:31,431 --> 00:20:32,699 I'm helping them through 461 00:20:32,765 --> 00:20:34,501 One of life's most Painful experiences. 462 00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:38,571 Norman, these executives Are having you do their Dirty work. 463 00:20:38,638 --> 00:20:40,840 You are their judas goat. 464 00:20:40,907 --> 00:20:43,109 Oh, come on, Just lighten up, Will you, diane? 465 00:20:43,175 --> 00:20:44,511 Well, I mean it! 466 00:20:44,577 --> 00:20:46,413 You should have more pride 467 00:20:46,479 --> 00:20:49,015 Than to do repugnant Tasks for people 468 00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:50,317 At their bidding. 469 00:20:50,383 --> 00:20:53,019 You want to wipe up That bar sweat? 470 00:20:53,085 --> 00:20:54,387 Right away. 471 00:21:06,366 --> 00:21:08,535 Can I get you something? 472 00:21:08,601 --> 00:21:09,836 No. 473 00:21:12,872 --> 00:21:13,806 You ok? 474 00:21:14,874 --> 00:21:16,409 No-- 475 00:21:16,476 --> 00:21:19,912 Norm peterson invited me For a beer at cheers. 476 00:21:19,979 --> 00:21:21,314 Uh-huh. Uh-huh. 477 00:21:21,381 --> 00:21:25,184 Well, he's sitting down Right over there. 478 00:21:25,251 --> 00:21:27,019 So that's him. 479 00:21:31,190 --> 00:21:33,626 * da dun-duh-dah * 480 00:21:33,693 --> 00:21:35,495 * dun duh-dun-- ** 481 00:21:37,063 --> 00:21:39,298 Hi. You must be John parker. 482 00:21:39,366 --> 00:21:41,534 Hi. Norm peterson here. 483 00:21:41,601 --> 00:21:43,336 I know. Yeah, I know. 484 00:21:43,403 --> 00:21:46,539 It's really terrible what you Have to do to me, isn't it? 485 00:21:46,606 --> 00:21:49,442 You mean, you know Why you're here? 486 00:21:49,509 --> 00:21:51,210 Everybody down at The company knows about you. 487 00:21:51,277 --> 00:21:52,712 Well, then, John, I guess 488 00:21:52,779 --> 00:21:54,747 There's really Nothing left to say, Is there? 489 00:21:54,814 --> 00:21:56,616 What do you mean? 490 00:21:56,683 --> 00:21:58,050 Where's my sympathy? 491 00:21:58,117 --> 00:22:01,554 Where's the caring? Where's the tears? 492 00:22:01,621 --> 00:22:05,257 Well, uh...I do feel Bad for you, john. 493 00:22:05,324 --> 00:22:06,826 Doesn't look like it. 494 00:22:08,828 --> 00:22:12,799 Well, honestly, john, I feel just awful, um... 495 00:22:19,839 --> 00:22:23,342 You have Foster children, I believe, right? 496 00:22:23,410 --> 00:22:25,778 Yes. One of them Needs braces. 497 00:22:25,845 --> 00:22:26,979 Oh, braces. 498 00:22:32,652 --> 00:22:35,555 You know, peterson, I would rather have somebody 499 00:22:35,622 --> 00:22:38,224 Come right out And fire me honestly 500 00:22:38,290 --> 00:22:39,592 Than fake sentiment. 501 00:22:39,659 --> 00:22:41,561 You hide Your true feelings 502 00:22:41,628 --> 00:22:43,730 Behind a shower Of crocodile tears. 503 00:22:43,796 --> 00:22:45,031 J-john, listen. John, wait a second. 504 00:22:45,097 --> 00:22:47,467 Let me try again, john. 505 00:22:48,935 --> 00:22:53,272 Boo-hoo! Sickly Parents. Boo-hoo! 506 00:22:53,339 --> 00:22:54,941 Boo-hoo! 507 00:22:56,976 --> 00:22:59,812 Forgive me. I'm dry as a bone. 508 00:22:59,879 --> 00:23:02,615 Do you know what's Happening to you, norman? 509 00:23:02,682 --> 00:23:06,085 You're becoming Callous and hard. 510 00:23:06,152 --> 00:23:08,555 Yeah, I know. 511 00:23:08,621 --> 00:23:10,389 Give me the phone... 512 00:23:10,457 --> 00:23:12,425 And a beer. 513 00:23:14,360 --> 00:23:15,828 What are you doing? 514 00:23:15,895 --> 00:23:17,029 Quitting. 515 00:23:17,096 --> 00:23:18,297 Ohh! 516 00:23:18,364 --> 00:23:20,467 I'm calling Mr. Simpson in personnel 517 00:23:20,533 --> 00:23:22,101 And telling him I'm resigning. 518 00:23:22,168 --> 00:23:25,004 The bosses can do Their own dirty work For a change. 519 00:23:25,071 --> 00:23:26,473 Good man. 520 00:23:26,539 --> 00:23:29,408 Mr. Simpson? Yes, This is norm peterson, sir. 521 00:23:29,476 --> 00:23:32,679 We really have to have A lit--hello? 522 00:23:33,546 --> 00:23:36,148 He screamed and hung up. 523 00:23:37,550 --> 00:23:39,686 I'll try him again. 524 00:23:42,088 --> 00:23:44,491 Yes, is this Mr. Simpson's secretary? 525 00:23:44,557 --> 00:23:45,858 Hi. This is norm peterson. 526 00:23:45,925 --> 00:23:50,196 We seem to have been-- Hello? Hello? 527 00:23:52,532 --> 00:23:55,067 You see what's happening, Here, don't you? 528 00:23:55,134 --> 00:23:57,136 Yeah. This is amazing. 529 00:23:57,203 --> 00:24:00,773 Why don't I just give Mr. Hecht a little call? 530 00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:02,842 You know, It was his scheme To begin with. 531 00:24:02,909 --> 00:24:06,913 Why don't I just tell him How good the little Plan's going? 532 00:24:08,948 --> 00:24:12,351 Mr. Hecht? This is norm peterson. 533 00:24:12,418 --> 00:24:17,056 Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!